At the strangest times, I'm confronted with missing my grandfather. Over the past two years, he'd become such a daily, albeit long distance, part of my life that I still find myself wanting to call him to share something with him. It stung to realize that it's Passover and that there is nobody to call to wish a happy holiday to, nor anyone to talk with about my plans to make matzoh ball soup (or to beg for some red horseradish). With his great-granddaughter's first loose tooth coming along a couple of days ago, it reflexively occurred to me while making dinner tonight that we hadn't passed the information on to him and that I should call. He'll never know about the latest silly things that the kids have done, nor the latest adventures we've planned. Maybe I would have had more closure if I'd been able to attend the funeral, but these little things keep hitting me, and, though they're not overwhelming, they still hurt a bit and throw me off of my rhythm.
I think he'd be pleased to know that we're taking a huge road trip to spend a lot of time with family this summer. I'm just disappointed (and I think he would be, too) that his death occasioned it.
3 comments:
not a day hasn't gone by since mom/gramma died that i think: "oh, i need to tell mom "x"", or "i have to ask mom about that". then i would remember, she's dead. so, i would call dad/papa. it got so we would talk daily about business/mundane things, or about the kids- always the kids. if he hadn't heard from you guys, he was asking me what the latest news was. towards the end, we weren't having so many of those calls as his attention was, ahem, diverted elsewhere!
it's been 2 weeks, and once again, i find myself saying: "i need to call dad about "x"", or "i want to ask dad how to..."
i don't think you ever get over that.
and yes, he would have reveled in the visit, except he would have enjoyed more seeing alaska one more time.
so, nu? you don't think that maybe someone else might know the red horseradish from the white?
You're not wrong, Eric, but it's not so much about making some red horseradish as it is about making his red horseradish.
Oh, well.
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